Well, it's been a while since I've written anything on here, but I've been busy. My grandparents acted pretty well with my cousin; my uncle, aunt and their kids didn't. But I don't particularly want to discuss that just now. The day after we went to my grandparents, me and Jeremy went to his grandmother's (I got a candle) and it was pretty good there, though we avoided his grandmother's cooking like the plague (she actually managed to burn water). Later on we went to see his brother and his girlfriend which was pretty cool. I was chilling with them before I'd ever even met Jeremy, and it's nice for us all to be together.

But I might have a bit of a problem. I'm pretty sure I'm pregnant. I haven't had my period, my boobs hurt like hell and have gotten bigger, and I've been puking. So, by now I'm pretty sure that a test would just be a formality. But if I am, I'll be able to deal with it. I'll have the baby, me and Jeremy will raise it as well as we can, which I hope will be pretty good even if we don't really have any money. Life doesn't wait around, and I've never expected it to.

So I'm going to visit my grandparents for Christmas. It's an old tradition and I usually don't mind. I'll admit that I don't like getting up so early, the two hour long car ride, and the inevitable boredom, but it's pretty okay. But this year's going to be very, very awkward, and most likely sucky. You see, one of my cousins recently tried to kill herself with a bottle of aspirin. Because of that, a lot of the family has turned their backs on her. My grandmother wouldn't even say goodbye when she was packing up her stuff and moving into a friend's house. My uncle has forbidden his children to speak with her, and no one can figure out what my grandfather thinks since he can't speak against Grandma in her prescense and she refuses to leave him alone.

My aunt is bringing my cousin by so that we can see her. I do want to see her. Let her know that we haven't all abandoned her. But I'm worried how the others are going to act. My uncle's taking his kids somewhere else while she's there. But what about Grandma? That woman's a big bowl full of crazy. Oh well. We'll deal with when it comes. I just hope that she doesn't do or say anything stupid...but she probably will.

No more room mates ever! A couple of days ago, my fiancee and I got kicked out of the duplex we'd be living in by our room mates. They claimed that it was because the landlady called and said that she didn't want us living there because Jeremy had lost his job and Pizza Hut had been screwing with me over giving me my last two paychecks and neither of us were having luck finding new jobs. She apparently told them that she didn't want us there because we weren't able to help with the bills. Such lies! The landlady there doesn't handle the bills, she just deals with the rent. It wouldn't matter one lick to her if electricity and water went unpaid, as long as the rent got in. If people are going to lie to me, they should at least lie well. But they told us that we shouldn't be having so much trouble finding jobs since Kaula (one of the room mates) had already managed to find a job...even though she just had a baby who is not even a month old yet. What the fuck?!

Whatever. As Jeremy keeps telling me, it's not like we're homeless. My parents are letting us live with them until we can find our own place. We also have garunteed jobs lined up for both of us at McDonald's (though neither of us are looking forward to working fast food). Things will be fine. I've got to believe that. If I don't I'll go crazy and end up having another mental breakdown.